today, february 15, holds wonderful memories... 28 years ago, david richard gutierrez was born into our family. this morning i visited his grave in the pouring rain (how fitting for my sorrow). i'm really not much of a grave-visitor; but somehow, i find myself drawn there a couple times a year. i can cry and talk and pray about whatever i want. i know i can do that anywhere, but there's a freedom there at david's headstone (which mandy and katie so lovingly designed).
today i "told him" about our 2 brians—katie's husband and mandy's boyfriend—and how much he would have loved them both; i told him about our sweet sophie, katie & brian's 2-month old baby and how he would love her and rub her cheeks. i told him about our new church plant, cpc millbrae, and how he would love it, and our campus pastor rob, and how he would love him.
mostly i told him how much i loved him and miss him. i miss my buddy and his handsome face, his mischevious smile, and his quick wit. i miss his "hey mom..." and his "thanks, mom". I miss doing the crossword puzzle and the jumble with him. i miss watching him play basketball. i miss making organic bread from scratch and health shakes and organic vegetarian dinners. (fred and the girls still tease me about the enchanted broccoli forest—i thought it was yummy!) i miss his twinkly eyes and dear smile. i miss his love of life; how he wanted to run everywhere, and everything was a competition. i miss his love for his friends and family, and his (rare) hugs!
i don't miss watching him suffer. i don't miss his limp. i don't miss his pain. but if he was still here, i would care for him gladly!
so today i rejoiced, too. i rejoiced that dave loved Jesus. i rejoice that he's in heaven. i rejoice that he's healthy... no more cancer, no more pain, no more sugeries. i rejoice that he already got to meet Jesus in person. and i rejoice that i get to join him one day.
today's sermon was on the 5th commandment: honor your father and mother... wow!
