as i sit here with one of those heat-in-the-microwave bean bags on my upper back, i am reminded of a book i read (and loved) many years ago... pain, the gift nobody wants by dr. paul brandt and philip yancy. i've been trying to figure out how this pain i've had since before christmas is a gift. it started as just a little annoyance after a long day of work using my computer's mouse. graphic designers don't get carpel tunnel syndrome because they don't spend the day typing. we spend our days using a mouse, and when your eyes are going bad and you have to lean into the screen to get your bifocals at just the right distance to see clearly, you mess up the muscles in your neck and shoulder and back. by last friday it was excruciating. (you know... the really scrunched up face on the "how much does it hurt?" charts?) so i emailed my dr for some advice. his advice: make an appointment.
so here's the gift i received from my pain. i went to a (wonderful) physical therapist who not only gave me some exercises and scolded me on my nutrition (or lack thereof... i lose it in the winter months when i'm cold and want to sip hot chocolate and munch cookies to go with it!) ("your body can't heal when you aren't putting nutrients into it!" said she.) but she also explained the situation going on with my muscles when my body is so contorted for long period of time. that was a gift!
all this has made me think of the many different kinds of pain in our lives. our pastors are currently doing a series on genesis and revelation. it's been fascinating to learn of the connection between the beginning and the end. God has got it all in control, and when we mess it up, He's not surprised, He has a plan, and He still loves us deeply. We cause ourselves a lot of pain. God wants to use that to draw us to Him.
this morning as steve took a break from the expository teaching of the 2 books, and took us through a journey of the Bible, and the journey of his own life, i was moved by the amazing fact that God uses our pain to draw us to Him. like the children of israel, i keep going back to my "idols", doing things my own way, striving for solutions to problems, trying to figure it all out myself, wanting my own way... you know what i mean? and like the children of israel, God keeps forgiving me, taking me back, binding my wounds and loving me.
i come from a very happy family, and fred and i have had a happy family... but i've definitely had some pain in my life. i've hated it, never asked for it, and don't want any more of it. but i have to admit, it's always been a gift. it has caused me to run to my Father, God. it has made me thankful for my very life, and the gift of eternal life through Christ. it has given me new perspective, it has made me learn to trust (still working on that one, for sure!) it has shown me God's sovereignty, and has made me stonger (i think).
so yes, pain is a gift... i guess we'll just have to keep receiving these gifts until heaven. looking forward to that day, for sure!
