a precious gift

Last Saturday Fred told said he'd had a dream and David was in it. He actually even woke up with a little tear on his cheek.

It's that time of year again when the memories of his last days with us come flooding back. They bring both joy and sorrow—joy because of the precious memories of our dear son; sorrow for the difficult road he trod the last 3 1/2 years of his life.

But last night I received a precious gift. I dreamed that David was with us and I got to introduce him to all my dear friend that I've made since he passed, so they had never had opportunity to know him. It was so real that I woke up wanting to tell everyone.. "See, isn't he just the greatest, just like I said?!"

Today is David's 15th birthday in Heaven, so I will take one of the purple irises I bought and visit his grave. I will sit and chat with him, tell him all about his nieces, and his niece that's on the way. I'll tell him how much I love and miss him. No, he won't hear me. But God will, so I'll pray, thanking God for our amazing 16 1/2 years with our son, and praise Him that we know David is in His holy presence. I'll rejoice that we will see him again one day.

No, David won't hear me, but God will, and He will know that my heart is full and blessed. Blessed with not only with a loving husband, our sweet Mandy and Katie and their Brians and kids, but also with God's gift of eternal life. This gift that gives us relationship with Him (therefore His comfort, guidance, peace and joy) while we are still here on earth, AND our new life in Heaven with Him when we leave this place.

Looking forward to seeing our David again. In the meantime, I have some photos. Enjoy them! (I don't have too many in digital form, but here's a handful...)

At Uncle Ron & Aunt Tere's wedding. 1993

Playing basketball just about a month before diagnosis. 1994

During chemotherapy, he got to go back to school for a lunch period to visit his friends. 1994

In Hawaii after knee surgery, in the middle of some of the hardest chemo. Loving life to the full, he smiled and really enjoyed every moment. 1994

The Pressure's On

It's amazing how quickly one can fill their time. I have actually always known this, and have heard it from retired people for years (like: I don't know how i ever had time to work.)


One of the very fun things i've been doing lately is baking bread. The price of flour has made it not super cost-effective to bake my own, but since it's about half the per-pound price at Costco, I decided to go for it. And got some sugar, too, while I was at it.

So I was committed to doing some baking...


 So far, 3 loaves of sandwich bread, 2 loaves of french bread, 2 loaves of Swedish Coffee Bread, a batch of cookies, and a coffee cake. 


Sorry weevils. This stuff's gonna be gone before you get any.  

a day in the life...

a couple thursdays ago, finishing up the dinner dishes, i thought back on my day... and had to take a moment to document it. (back when i was working at cpc, thursdays were long days. i usually arrived at the office around 6:30 am and worked till 5:30 or 6 pm.) 


Here it is:

while i loved my time at cpc, i rest in the assurance of God's timing for my leaving. would you agree that this is a wonderful way to spend a day? :)

i love bread

...unfortunately. but oh well. not just plain jane white bread, though. i like really good bread. like bakery or homemade. 


since i've been doing some cleaning out and reorganizing lately, i've perused some of my many cookbooks to see if i really need every one of them. i came across my bread machine book, and have been baking bread ever since. i started with just plain white (but homemade plain white) because i had all the called-for ingredients. delicious! made fred's lunches on it. he loved it, but requested something more healthy (imagine that!!), so when he said he was stopping by trader joe's and asked if i needed anything... yep, whole wheat flour. 


so here's the whole wheat flour bread. next time i think i'll let it rise a little longer, and bake just a bit longer too. t was just a teens too dense, and the center slices could have used a bit more baking time. but it's made great toast, and fred really likes it for his sandwiches. ( i much prefer to just do the dough in my bread machine to be sure it rises, and then do whatever it needs and bake it in the oven.)

the same day, i really wanted a baguette to go with dinner, so i made one. it came out a little odd-shaped, but tasted yummy... especially for the first try. but, again, i think i'll let it rise a little longer next time to give a more airy crumb, but the crust was perfect. (do you think we liked it? this is all that was left after dinner. i forgot to take a photo before we ate some.)

three random thoughts

Thoughts of blog post topics run through my head almost daily... well, at least weekly. I just seem to have a hard time getting them posted, and then those ideas seem too late to actually post. I mean, who wants to read in January what I was thinking about last October (or 2 summers ago? I still have a draft of one from summer 2010 called "My Wednesday Help". Maybe I'll actually finish it and post it one day.)


Anyway, here are some thoughts from the past few weeks:


I'm walking again.
No, I didn't break my leg; I haven't been sick; I have worn no cast. My only ailment is laziness. Well, and the fact that it's been so cold and dark in the morning. I know that I can take a walk any time of the day, but somehow, if I don't get out there and do it first thing—preferably before 7 am— I end up just skipping it and getting on with my day. So it's a new year, and time to get back in the exercise routine. So today I walked again, and promise to continue at least 3 times a week.


I'm mourning again.
Last week I got a call from a PTA friend with the news of the death of one of David's elementary school friends. Eric was killed in a motorcycle accident last Tuesday. His mom, Evelyn, was a friend of mine from the JFK PTA back in the day when our kids were in elementary school. The friend who called lost one of her sons two years ago. We figured there are now 5 boys from that PTA group who have died. It's kind of odd and very sad. So I grieve for Evelyn and her family over the loss of Eric. 


I'm unemployed again.
So you'd think I'd be blogging every day. But honestly, I knew my time would be filled quickly once I resigned. That was, after all, a huge part of my reason for leaving. Life was getting really big. Two granddaughters now, and a fun little business with Mandy and Katie called Rufflewood, plus the daily home keeping and wanting to cook and bake and garden and sew and all that fun stuff... yep, my days are very full.


Isn't this the best reason to be unemployed??

I'm going to work on getting a post done once a week. we'll see...