musings

i love fall. actually, i love all the seasons. although those who live on the east coast tell me i don't even know what a season is, i really do - california (bay area even!) style. i love the cool, crisp overcast days of fall; the chill of winter, getting to wear cute sweaters and tights and boots and scarves; i love the freshness of spring and watching my garden bloom, the hint of warmer days to come; and wonderful summer, which actually can be wonderfully warm, or san francisco foggy... but i find myself always ready for the next season as it arrives.

life has it's seasons, too. though i find i'm not always ready for what's coming. right now, anticipating grandmotherhood--i'm totally ready! feeling my body grow older... not so much. (where are my glasses? no not my reading glasses, my computer glasses. what did you say? ...and that sort of thing)

events of the past couple weeks have caused me to ponder. it started with news of the son of a couple we know - though we don't know them well - taking his life. then a week ago sunday i received an email from a friend sharing the sad news that her 22 year old son had just passed away after a 2 1/2 year battle with a rare cancer. johann was extremely bright, loved Jesus deeply and had so much to look forward to. though very different in interests and personality, it reminded me of our dear david, and i grieved deeply for gerry and debbie and their other 3 boys. we are so thankful that johann and david are both in the presence of our Lord! Monday brought another email of an acquaintance (fred knew him better than me), 48 years old, who had a heart attack while playing basketball at the gym across the street from our house.

at the same time, we are so excited to be anticipating the arrival of a granddaughter any day now! we are so excited to meet baby. i can hardly wait to hold her in my arms and love her, and then watch her grow and learn and try new things. and i am overwhelmed with the amazing gift of life and the totally creative way God has made the process. the memories of giving birth to our own children come flooding back. the joys and the feeling of weighty responsibility. the fun (and the pain) of watching them grow and learn how to maneuver life and trust in the goodness of God. the blessing of becoming their friends as they are now adults (how fun that they like to hang out with us!).

life is joyful, painful, wondrous, mysterious, wonderful, unpredictable, unfair...and such a gift from God. so even though i don't love every season of life, i love what God does in me in every season. i love that He doesn't abandon me through the hard seasons, He comforts and strenthens me. and then He gives seasons of joy and wonder and peace. and sometimes they overlap.

musing...